


Mommy Issues

by MissPoppy



Series: Ocelhira Week 2016 [5]
Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Drinking, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-07 12:58:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8801713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissPoppy/pseuds/MissPoppy
Summary: Ocelot and Kaz talk about their moms.





	

When a recruit came to Kaz saying Ocelot was drinking, he had waved it off as a joke; when three more came to him saying Ocelot was **_crying_** , he rolled his eyes and ignored them; but when the whole of Ocelot Unit came and said their leader had locked himself in the room the A.I. Pod, Kaz finally decided maybe he should check into this. He quietly walked through the base and wondered what exactly had gotten into Ocelot. <Maybe Snake would know.> He thought and pulled out his iDroid, calling Snake.

 

“Snake, I gotta ask you something.”

 

_“Hmm? What’s up Kazzy?”_

 

“Jeez John, what did I say about the fucking nicknames… Anyway, Ocelot locked himself in the A.I. Pod room, any idea why?”

 

_“Kaz, what’s today?”_

 

“Uhmm… September 2nd, I believe. What does that have to do with this?”

 

 _“Kaz… Kaz, it’s…_ _[Snake sighed and cleared his throat]_ _...Today’s the anniversary of The Boss’ death.”_

 

“Oh. Fuck.”

 

_“Listen Kaz, I know he’s not your favourite person but I can’t be there for him right now so can you plea-”_

 

“Consider it done, Snake.”

 

_“Thank you.”_

 

“You owe me for this.” Kaz sighed and put away the device, coming up to the door and knocked. “Ocelot, can we talk?”

 

“No.”

 

“Ocelot.”

 

“Go away, Miller.”

 

“Snake wanted us to talk.” Kaz listened to Ocelot shuffling around, a string of russian curses when he stubbed his toe on something. There was a thump and bottles clinking. Kaz sighed and checked his coat’s inner breast pocket to make sure the small tin he had confiscated from a soldier earlier in the day was still there, they had no rules against marijuana on the base but it was easier to get take it from a soldier than get it himself; he was definitely going to need it when the door finally opened and a puffy, red-faced Ocelot stared at him. If Kaz actually liked the man; maybe his heart would break at the sight before him but he didn’t like him and all he felt was understanding. The older of the two hiccuped and Kaz couldn't tell if it was because he was drunk or from crying, probably a bit of both.

 

“I don’t want to talk… even if he wants us to.” Ocelot huffed and started to shut the door.

 

“Well too bad for you, I’m here already so you better share your alcohol and maybe I’ll share my weed.” Kaz pushed his way in and walked past a grumbling Ocelot. He walked to the nest of blankets and pillows the cowboy had made for himself next to the A.I. Pod and promptly sat down; discarding his coat and beret, loosening his tie, and kicking off a shoe. He looked back at Ocelot and padded his thigh. “Well? Get over here so we can chat.”

 

Ocelot reluctantly made his way over and sat next to Kaz, laying back and resting his head on Kaz’s lap. He looked up at the younger man and sighed; he hated this, showing emotions to John was one thing but to let Miller see him like this made him feel weak.

 

“So you gonna start laughing at me? I'm a sad little bitch that misses the mother he never had…”

 

“I wouldn't and you know it, Adamska. You're not the only one in this room that lost their mother.” Kaz’s words were soft, no edges to cut with. He bit the middle finger of his glove and pulled it off, dropping his hand down to Ocelot’s hair and running his fingers through it. “I might have known my mother my whole life but that doesn't mean I truly knew her. I hate myself everyday for leaving her alone like that, to rot away in her own mind like that…”

 

“Miller…”

 

“I know you didn't know The Boss that well but that didn't mean you didn't love her or that she didn't love you.” Kaz unwinded his hand from Ocelot's hair and grabbed a bottle of beer, chugging the contents of the amber bottle within seconds.

 

“Kazu, I miss her so much… I'd always dream she'd come find me and steal me back. She'd take me home and I could just be a normal kid with a normal family.” Ocelot started to tear up again and Kaz shushed him, working his hand back into the silvery locks.

 

“Nothing’s ever normal Oce, we both know that. You just have to work with and through whatever shit you're dealt and hope to god you don't break along the way.” Kaz leaned down awkwardly and kissed Ocelot’s forehead. “Can you open me another beer?”

 

“Mm.” Ocelot’s hand shot out and grabbed a bottle, popping the top and holding it up for Kaz to take. “Didn't you say you had weed?”

 

“Yeah but talking first.” Kaz took the bottle and started greedily drinking it down. “What are your best memories of The Boss?”

 

“There was a night she came into my quarters… she brought me food and helped me clean my guns. We talked about westerns… She was a fan of them too.” Ocelot smiled lightly at the thought.

 

“Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Though from what Snake told me about her, she wasn't quite as loony tunes about it like you. Kaz laughed and Ocelot pushed him. The two adjusted so they were next to each other, half laying half sitting up against the A.I. Pod; they fell into a silence for a time, drinking and resting their heads together.

 

“What was your mother like?” Ocelot turned to Kaz and looked at him with genuine curiosity. “I bet she was gorgeous. Would have to be, look at her son after all!”

 

“Ocelot, you're drunk.” Kaz laughed, ignoring the burn in his cheeks. He reached over for his coat and pulled out a small photo and handed it to Ocelot. “She was a beauty though, you're right about that, soldiers that came to our shop would constantly try to flirt with her but she always told them she already had the only man she needed… it never hit me for a long time that she meant me.”

 

“Aww!” Ocelot slung his arm around Kaz’s shoulder and pulled him closer, studying his face. “You can really see her face in yours… I don't have any photos of The Boss… But John always said I looked just like her!!”

 

“Is she where you got that beak from?”

 

“No… I got that from my father. I think. I never met him. I think…” Ocelot sighed, looking down at the floor. “Sometimes I feel like he's watching over me but I don't know if that's possible.”

 

“He could be, we've seen stranger shit. Speaking of which…” Kaz reached for his coat again and took out the small tin and a lighter and tossed them to Ocelot.

 

“You gotta stop stealing our men's pot and start getting your own.” Ocelot huffed, opening the tin, taking out a joint, and placing it between Kaz’s lips, he lit it and watched the younger man inhale, letting the sweet smoke fill his lungs. Kaz passed it to Ocelot who gladly accepted. “I'm surprised you didn't decide to shotgun me. That is your preferred method of getting others high.”

 

“In due time, pretty kitty. Hah, my mother would kill me if she saw me now. She hated drugs, alcohol too. Come to think of it… I don't think she would've been thrilled with having a bi son either.” Kaz leaned against Ocelot who was looking at the picture of Kaz’s mother again, he passed the joint back to him.

 

“I think she would have loved you no matter what; from what you've told me about her, she only cared that you were happy. So if having a dick in your ass is what made you happy, she would have been okay with it.” Ocelot hummed and pulled Kaz’s head down to his lap and started lazily braiding the longer bits together, accepting the joint when Kaz held it up for him.

 

“Maybe…. How do you think The Boss would react to know her son’s a queer?”

 

“She was fine with it.”

 

“She knew?”

 

“Kazu… she found me blowing John.” Ocelot laughed and Kaz broke out into a full giggle fit, the weed was starting to kick in and the two were finally relaxing, letting their walls down for once. “She was pissed at John but told us to be more discreet next time we needed to get our rocks off.”

 

“Well you two never took that to heart.”

 

“Says the guy that frequently has threesomes with those two.” Ocelot quipped and Kaz playfully slapped him, they passed the joint back and forth till it was gone; Ocelot had moved the younger man again to sitting between his legs, pulling him back onto chest and resting his chin on Kaz’s shoulder. “Kazu, thank you for this… I really needed it. It would have been nice to have John but… He dwells too much on the ‘what ifs’...”

 

“We're comrades. _Partners_. I'm not gonna leave you a sad, crying mess no matter how much you annoy the fuck out of me.” Kaz turned and kissed Ocelot’s cheek; smiling when he's responded by holding him closer and kissing him back on the lips. “You know, it's Friday right? We should let our second bests take over for the weekend and take a much-needed break in my room.”

 

“Kaz, babe. I think that weed hit you a little too hard; but you're right we should. When does John get back?”

 

“Tomorrow night.”

  
“We should invite him too.” Ocelot helped Kaz up and gathered as much of the blanket nest and bottles of alcohol as he could and the two made their way to Kaz’s bedroom for their “relaxation trip.”

**Author's Note:**

> listen my writing is steadily going downhill and im sorry
> 
> this is Diamond Dogs' days, i know its kinda unclear with Kaz and Ocel calling V "John" but I figured with the hypnosis shit they probably maybe would still call him that??? who knows, it's a mystery
> 
> also if you don't know what shotgunning is, it's when you take a drag of whatever you're smoking and blow the smoke into another person's mouth. it's A+++ shit
> 
> also also i don't know how to write proper endings ｡ﾟ✶ฺ.ヽ(*´∀`*)ﾉ.✶ฺﾟ｡


End file.
